If You're Gone
by SlayerWillow
Summary: Willow's thoughts from Wild at Heart.


Title: If You're Gone  
Author: SlayerWillow  
Part: 1 - complete  
  
Summary: Willow's thoughts from Wild at Heart  
  
Author's notes: First songfic I've ever written, and I know it could have been done much better, so please give me feedback so I can improve in the future. Thanks!  
  
Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to Joss, the WB, and Fox. The song is If You're Gone by Matchbox Twenty. It's on their new (and awesome) CD mad season.  
  
  
If You're Gone  
_______________  
  
I sat there, wondering what was going through his head. Why would he be so attracted to this other girl? I mean, sure she's kinda pretty I guess, but still. He loves me, so what's up with this? Am I totally invisible now? He's hardly even able to follow the conversation. Oz, please don't do this to me.  
  
****  
I think I've already lost you  
Think you're already gone.  
I think I'm finally scared now  
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong  
I think you're already leaving  
Feels like your hand is on the door  
I thought this place was an empire  
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure  
****  
  
The next day I went to meet him in the café at school, and guess who was there. Veruca. That other girl he keeps looking at. I totally felt like a spaz, and I really had no clue what they were talking about. And then they both split, like I wasn't good enough to listen to their musician talk or whatever. And I know he likes her. And I know he loves me, but still. It makes me uneasy. I don't like where this is headed.  
  
****  
I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life  
I think I'm just scared - I think too much  
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing  
*****  
  
I went to his room, trying to make sure everything was okay. I told him how weird I felt at the café and everything, but he was all nonchalant, like he didn't even notice it. I was getting some majorly weird vibes. And then I tried to come on with the smoochies and he totally blew me off. That hurt. He told me it was just the whole wolf thing the night before, but I don't know. He's not usually like that. I left quickly, not wanting to deal with him right then.  
  
****  
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room  
But I can hardly move  
If you're gone - baby you need to come home  
Cuz there's a little bit of something me   
In everything you  
*****  
  
I went to talk to Xander, get a guy's perspective on the whole deal. He assured me that it was probably just Oz feeling weird cause he could sense I was jealous. Well, that sounded reasonable to me, and I figured we could work everything out. So I went down to his cage the next morning and saw much more than I ever care to again.   
  
He was in there with her. Granted, he said she was a werewolf, but still. He could have done something else. Instead the two were locked together all night. And he admitted to me that he sensed something about her before he knew she was a werewolf. Why Oz? Why did you do this? It's not fair. It hurts so much.   
  
****  
I bet you're hard to get over  
I bet the room just won't shine  
I bet my hands I can stay here  
I bet you need - more than you mind  
  
I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life  
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much  
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling  
****  
  
I'm numb inside. I'm not alive anymore. A car almost hit me today and I didn't care. I feel dead, like someone has taken my heart and ripped it out and left my body to walk around so no one knows. In a way that's exactly what he did.   
  
****  
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room  
But I can hardly move  
If you're gone - baby you need to come home  
Cuz there's a little bit of something me  
In everything in you  
  
I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life  
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much  
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing  
****  
  
He left me. That's how he solved this. He left me, and Sunnydale, and his life. I don't know where he's going or if he'll ever come back. I don't know what to do without him; I don't know how to make it. How do you live without the one you love?  



End file.
